I Have Some Questions for You

Title: I Have Some Questions for You

Author: Rebecca Makkai 

Publisher: Viking 

Release Date: 2.21.23

Publisher’s Summary 

A successful film professor and podcaster, Bodie Kane is content to forget her past—the family tragedy that marred her adolescence, her four largely miserable years at a New Hampshire boarding school, and the murder of her former roommate, Thalia Keith, in the spring of their senior year. Though the circumstances surrounding Thalia's death and the conviction of the school's athletic trainer, Omar Evans, are hotly debated online, Bodie prefers—needs—to let sleeping dogs lie.

But when the Granby School invites her back to teach a course, Bodie is inexorably drawn to the case and its increasingly apparent flaws. In their rush to convict Omar, did the school and the police overlook other suspects? Is the real killer still out there? As she falls down the very rabbit hole she was so determined to avoid, Bodie begins to wonder if she wasn't as much of an outsider at Granby as she'd thought—if, perhaps, back in 1995, she knew something that might have held the key to solving the case.

My Review

This story alternates between 1995 (the year of senior Thalia Keith's murder,) 2018 (when Bodie Kane first returns to Granby boarding school,) and 2022 (for the conclusion.) The choice of these timelines is brilliant. First of all, I think this is the first novel I've read that acknowledged the COVID-19 pandemic and integrated details into the story without it becoming a main storyline--a major achievement. Second, the years allowed for great technological comparisons (cell phones, medical advancements, crime scene investigations, etc.) 

However, I was most affected by Makkai's timeline juxtaposition of 1995 culture against the current #metoo movement, cancel culture, and bullying. I was also a high school senior in 1995 and each disgusting, cringe-worthy, and cruel attack and assault described in this story took me right back to my time in high school, seeing these things happen and being brushed off with a jokey "boys will be boys" attitude by all adults. Punishments and repercussions were minimal (if acknowledged at all) and bullying was something you were told to simply ignore. Now, there tends to be more of a crackdown on the actions that were accepted in the past (although they still occur) but there are also new modes and methods of harassment through technology. When I look back at my time in high school and think of all the terrible things that boys got away with it infuriates me, and Makkai voiced my feelings throughout this entire story. At one point I put down the book, closed my eyes, and sighed "yes" when I read "I seethed, thinking for the second time in two days of all the things Dorian Culler had gotten away with. And I seethed at the realization that I had accepted this as normal, that I could only now calculate the full, ugly weight of it." I've discussed with friends how we have attempted to brush off situations that happened in our youth as "teasing" but we've carried those experiences with us into adulthood. We now find ourselves equally horrified by the actions of the offenders and the absolute refusal by adults to acknowledge or help--or worse, be blamed for the actions. We are happy to see so many anti-bullying initiatives and programs put into place for today's youth, but we also mourn the fact that we were not given any of those same protections.

Yes, this novel is a genius "cold case murder investigation" but it is Makkai's ability to lay bare the accepted cruelty and internalized trauma of many high schoolers' experiences that, although painful, I found truly remarkable. 

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