Finding Normal: Sex, Love, and Taboo in Our Hyperconnected World

 

I received a copy of this release from the publisher in exchange for an honest review

Title: Finding Normal: Sex, Love, and Taboo in Our Hyperconnected World
Author: Alexa Tsoulis-Reay 
Publisher: St. Martin's Press  
Release Date: 1.25.22

Publisher's Summary 
Alexa Tsoulis-Reay's Finding Normal is an author's up close tour of people who are using the Internet to challenge the boundaries of what's taboo and what it means to be normal.

Based on a popular series of candid interviews conducted for New York magazine’s human science column—"What It's Like"—Finding Normal explores the ways that real people are using the Internet to find community, forge connections, and create identity in ways that challenge a variety of accepted sexual norms. Ranging from the atypical to the shocking, each story in Finding Normal intimately immerses the reader in the world of a person who is grappling with a unique set of circumstances relating to sexuality.

Finding Normal at once celebrates the power of our current media moment for helping people rewrite the script for their lives and offers a warning about the danger of that seemingly limitless freedom to find yourself. Finding Normal shows the enduring power of the search for belonging—for humans and society. Like happiness or life purpose, finding normal is perhaps the definitive human struggle.



My Review

Alexa Tsoulis-Reay explores the sliding scale of socially acceptable sexualities.

As the internet has become more accessible and conversations about sexuality have become more prevalent, the concept of "normal" has evolved. Social media has led people to find others with similar interests and proclivities, allowing them to feel "normal" in these communities, and in turn, accept that there is nothing wrong with them. Overall, I think this is amazing and wonderful and so important for people who are struggling with acceptance in their families and physical communities. However, this also means that people with "extreme" taboos are also able to find communities where their thoughts and practices are normal. While the first half of this book covers what I would call "acceptable" non-normative sexuality (asexuality, consensual non-monogamy, and age gap relationships), the second half covers genetic sexual attraction/incest (mostly adult adoptees reunited with birth parents,) and zoophilia.

Going into this book, the "hyperconnected" part of the title had me expecting that the focus would be about finding connections and communities with like-minded people online. Maybe even some analysis about how our society may be more connected technologically but less so personally. The "sex, love, and taboo" part of the title had me thinking the author would possibly highlight and offer insight into various kinks or fetishes. 

I want to give this book 5 stars for its originality and the objective reporting by its author but I also want to give it 1 star because I draw the line at any type of sexuality involving children and animals. For those reasons, I will not be rating this title. Also, I don't think I will ever recommend this to someone unless referencing it as an example of the vast spectrum of human sexuality.